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27.10.05

The President's Neck is Missing! Rest your giant head. I am Lugash. Smells like hot dogs. Instead, it’s been painful and disturbing, like the movie Police Academy. Do I know what rhetorical means? Help me Jebus, help me! Homer no function beer well without. I have misplaced my pants. I'll mace you good! All this fresh air is making my hair move and I don't know how long I can complain. In jail we had to be in this dumb kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, and I wanted to be Oshi, but they made me Ori! The Strong must protect the Sweet. You couldn’t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine. They're doing a documentary on Canadian Graffiti! (Cuts to a spraypainted sign saying 'Obey the Rules') I am aware of the work of Pablo Neruda. It's Fuhrerific. I'm no missionary! I don't even believe in Jebus! He's like a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a vest. Anyway, long story short - is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I've been to Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together. This just in: I'm pissed off! The results are in: for Sideshow Bob, one hundred percent; and for Joe Quimby, one percent. And we remind you there is a one percent margin of error. You're the sober ying to my incorrigible yang. Just give the great unwashed a pair of oversized breasts and a happy ending, and they'll 'oink' for more every time. Reading? His job description clearly specified an illiterate! Look Smithers, a bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction. But Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! Now make like my pants and split! Stop! Those are prescription pants! Activate cloaking device! Engage candy bar! Dying tickles! I'm Idaho! Me fail English? That's unpossible! It does taste like Gramma! When I grow up, I want to be a principal, or a caterpillar! Can you open my milk, Mommy? Maria, my mighty heart is breaking. I'll be in the Humvee. "I'm a neurotic little nerd who likes to sleep with little girls." I would cry if my tear ducts weren't so muscular. Ice to see you! Let me get into character. (voice unchanged) Okay, I'm McBain. (applause) My teenage son returns from a fancy East Coast college, and I'm horrified to discover he's a nerd. McBain to base! Under attack by Commie-Nazis! You're no Mr. Teeny number 3 - He got me chicks! Must-save-buffoon!

By this to prove my loyalty to the Groening franchise.

posted by rino breebaart  # 8:22 am
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